Endurance

This time of year is exhausting. We wake up and drive to work in the dark. And as we clock out at the end of the day, we see the last glimmer of sunlight disappearing over the horizon. It's just so dark. On top of the physical darkness, I'm starting to face the reality of spiritual darkness in this world. With loss in the family, division in the country (and even the church), and simply the struggles of living with my own sinful mind, I am just so tired.

I know I need to continue to do work, despite how I may feel, but sometimes my feelings seem too big to endure. I was encouraged by Paul's words to Timothy this week:

Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6:12 NIV

Sometimes I all but forget the reality that I am a Christian! I have a hope in Jesus that is far beyond this world. When the world seems so dark and I feel so small, I can preach the gospel to myself once again. Jesus gave us the gift of eternal life. Not in this sinful, broken state, but one day we will be healed completely of all of our aches and illnesses. We will be with God! How do I forget that! We have a God who is so good and so loving that he saved us from ourselves. We have hope in Him today.

What am I running after? Am I running for people or for God? Am I running for money or to further Christ's kingdom?

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.

1 Timothy 6:6-11 NIV

Paul wrote these words to Timothy to encourage him to stay content with just the things he needed. Personally, I don't strive as much for material wealth, but I do strive for man's approval and for comfort. I struggle to be content if I'm cold, hungry, or stressed. Paul was urging Timothy to be content if all he had was food in his stomach and a shirt on his back. No house, no guarantee of freedom, no amenities. And right after this passage, we get the first verse above, urging Timothy to "fight the good fight of faith."

Lord, make me willing to BE WILLING to suffer for the kingdom..

Faith isn't something we just have. It's a constant fight. It's a battle with ourselves and others to let go of what the world says we need and trust God to provide what we truly need. I want to be ready to fight that fight. I want to be willing to be willing to suffer. I'm struggling to even pray that dangerous prayer of "make me willing to suffer." So for now, I pray: "Lord, make me willing to be willing to suffer for the kingdom.

Paul further calls Timothy to look to Jesus as his source of power.

In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time - God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

1 Timothy 6:11-16 NIV

Jesus is that example. He deserves all the honor and praise we can muster. He is the perfect example of being willing to endure suffering for the sake of eternity. Jesus showed us what it means to love in a truly selfless way that now allows us to take hold of the kind of life that is truly life, eternity in heaven. When we put our hope in God, we will have all we need to endure for the kingdom until he calls us home into eternity where we will have treasures that last (see verses 17-19). Everything that feels too big may just be too big for you to carry alone. But that is why we are called to bear each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2) and trust in God (Proverbs 3:5). We were never meant to be independent. Let go of your pride today and surrender your challenges to the Lord. Let him take them and lead you to the next thing. One step at a time.