When God feel's silent

Note to self,

God feels far away sometimes, but he isn't. Sometimes his silence is in preparation for a greater blessing. He was silent for 400 years before the greatest blessing this world has ever known!

But my golly goodness, that truth doesn't make the waiting feel any better. We start to doubt and wonder if he's forgotten us. Maybe you, like me, have a hard time believing you are significant enough for God to care about your little life.

Strangely, in these times, I find the most comfort in one of the most depressing books of the Bible: the book of Lamentations. In last week's blog, we contrasted the deep lamentations surrounding Israel's exile with the glimmer of hope in knowing that "his compassions never fail" (Lam.3:22).

Along with Lamentations, approximately 1/3 of the Psalms are songs of lament! Psalms 42 is a well-known lament and happens to be one of my favorites. Read it in its entirety and soak in the words.

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food

day and night,

while people say to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

These things I remember

as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go to the house of God

under the protection of the Mighty One

with shouts of joy and praise

among the festive throng.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me;

therefore I will remember you

from the land of the Jordan,

the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep

in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers

have swept over me.

By day the Lord directs his love,

at night his song is with me—

a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock,

“Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning,

oppressed by the enemy?”

My bones suffer mortal agony

as my foes taunt me,

saying to me all day long,

“Where is your God?”

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42 NIV

I've felt these words on a personal level. Even though I haven't had people outside of me asking "where is your God," I have certainly wondered that very thing when I've been anxious and hurting. One adaptation of this psalm I love is Satisfied in You (Psalm 42) by The Sing Team. The beautiful music brings the words of this psalm to life. If you have the time, I'd recommend taking the time to listen and reflect on the words.

We've established that laments are common in the Bible, but how does God respond to our laments? If it were me, I'd be irritated with these humans who don't trust, despite all they've received. What a wonderful thing that I am not God. Remember, we serve a God who is longsuffering. Read these words from Psalm 34 describing how our God responds to our laments:

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears;

He delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted;

He saves the contrite in spirit.

Psalm 34:17-18 NIV

So when we cry out to God, he doesn't ignore us. He doesn't get impatient and annoyed with us. In fact, it says here that he is near to the brokenhearted. That's crazy. Often when we are brokenhearted, we can feel like God is far away. But he's not. It even says that he delivers us from our troubles.

I really like control, I suspect many of you are the same, at least from time to time. So I try to control my feelings and tell myself that God has it all or I beat myself up for not feeling close to God. I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I have a Bible minor from a Christian University, so I know the attributes of God and therefore I know that when I feel far from God, my own heart is the problem. But somewhere I picked up the idea that I have to "fix" my feelings before I talk to God. I mean, God is perfect and I'm not, so therefore I have to fix my problems for myself before I can go talk to God.

But that's not how we see God's people interacting with Him throughout history and that's not how the Bible talks about our relationship with God at all. He knows us deeply and intimately.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139:7-12 NIV

God never leaves. Even though he feels silent at times, he is still listening to all of our cries for help and for hope. Sometimes God is silent. But he is never absent. Don't be afraid to keep crying out to God today. I would also recommend listening to this episode from the Alisa Childers podcast about the silence of God and the hope it can offer.

Lord, thank you for being with me even when I don't feel it. When I feel despair, lift me back up and remind me of your love. Thank you for your patience with me as I wrestle with difficulties and doubts in my life. Thank you for allowing me to have a relationship with you. When I feel alone, I know you are still there guiding me. May I find comfort in the knowledge of your kindness and may my feelings start to follow.

Amen.